This December Was Hot Garbage
December used to pay my mortgage. Wholesale iPhone 11 flying off shelves, everyone buying Christmas gifts, cash register going nuts.
This year? Thirty phones. Fucking thirty.
Made less money than my cousin who works at Starbucks.
August Saves My Broke Ass
Only reason I’m still in business is back-to-school season. Parents lose their minds about phones for kids.
“Tommy needs iPhone for school safety!”
Sure lady. Tommy needs iPhone to text during math class.
Sold two hundred twelve phones in August. Rest of year lucky to hit fifty.
January Almost Killed Me
Nobody warns you about January when starting wholesale iPhone 11 business. Complete dead zone.
Eight phones sold. Sarah asking if we need food stamps.
Spent an entire month wondering why I didn’t become a plumber like dad wanted.
Spring Brings Hope
March people get tax money back. Suddenly everyone rich again, buying phones left and right.
Not August crazy but enough to stop panic attacks about bankruptcy.
Summer Caught Me Off Guard
Figured June July would suck balls. Kids home, families broke from vacations.
Wrong again genius.
Summer camps ordering phones, college kids getting jobs, random businesses upgrading. Actually decent months.
Hurricanes Mess With Everything
Don’t get hurricanes here but suppliers in Florida do. Screws up entire supply chain.
After big storm last year couldn’t get phones for month. When supply returned everyone desperate, prices insane.
Made bank but felt guilty charging extra during disaster.
Corporate Idiots Follow Scripts
Business customers buy same shit every year like robots.
January meetings. March purchasing. August panic. November spending leftover budget.
Martinez calls March fifteenth every year ordering forty phones. Could set my watch by it.
Christmas Gift Market Dead
iPhone 11 too old for Christmas now. People want fancy new models under tree.
Tried selling holiday bundles with cases and chargers. Nobody cared.
“Got anything newer?”
No Karen, this is wholesale iPhone 11 business.
Tax Season Gold Rush
February through April people feeling rich from refunds. Upgrade everything, treat themselves, live large temporarily.
Steady money but nothing exciting. Pays bills, keeps Sarah happy.
Back-to-School Insanity
August is pure chaos. Parents freaking about school requirements, need phones immediately.
“School starts Monday, need twenty phones by Friday!”
Charge whatever I want, they pay without question. Beautiful desperation.
November Corporate Panic
End of year businesses scrambling to spend budget before losing it. Buy random shit they don’t need.
Perfect time dumping old inventory at premium prices.
Phoenix Heat Problems
Summer heat doesn’t affect sales directly but shipping becomes nightmare. Phones cooking in delivery trucks.
Had batch arrive melted together from heat. FedEx driver apologizing like crazy.
Buying Low Selling High
Stock up during dead months when suppliers desperate for cash. Sell during busy times when customers need phones now.
Basic drug dealer economics applied to phones.
Random Shit Happens
Sometimes crazy stuff creates demand spikes. New business opening, school getting grant money, insurance payouts.
Stay ready for weird opportunities.
Wife Suffers Through Seasons
Sarah loves January because I’m home being depressed instead of working. Hates August because I disappear completely.
“It’s like being married to ghost six weeks yearly.”
That ghost pays for your yoga classes honey.
Future Looks Sketchy
iPhone 11 getting ancient. Seasonal patterns changing as fewer people want old phones.
Christmas is already dead. Might lose other busy seasons too.
Time to start planning exit strategy or find newer models.